Kevin Magoon Mr. USA blah

One person can hurt you so bad you feel so messed up. It is like an act they put on to make you trust them. But then later you understand that there was no trust. No love no nothing. Not even a liking to you. So you become so hurt you feel like you will never be okay again. It is like this depression that settles inside of you and all your thinking is, "What did I do? What could I have done differently?" No questions, no confrontations. An understandment from one end but not to the other. A coward in his way of avoiding confrontation or the truth....Or just shut me out and forget anything that ever happened. Was that person hiding something? What did he think? It wasnt like him at all. Such a surprise. But not typical. I ignored my friends who said that person could be using you. Or all their warnings. What was I suppose to think? I wasnt going to believe it. He still spoke to me a little afterward. Ugh but I fell for it. I then sat dreaming of something that would never happen. The sky just turned dark and it rained a flood of tears and rain. Outside it even thundered a little as I walked to no where. The rain mixed with my tears. I looked so damn pathetic. Where ever I was going was better then the interent. Where ever I was going was better then the truth. Eyes cried out to the best of its advantage. Took more then a day for me to even feel a little better. Not even complete I didnt want to go home. Why go home? It was the truth that bothered me. And the feeling of, " What did I do wrong? What damnt! Just tell me." That was the problem. Nothing was told to me. No communicationg. All trust is lost. Forever. I dont want to love or be loved. I wasnt ready for it like I had once stated. And if I had loved I would be over. I just wanted to die as I walked further. On the bus I sat in the back and cried. Who cares if no one couldnt find me. I needed a sense of relief and pain. I was in so much pain physically and emotionally. No words could escape my mouth from the crying or gasping for air. Slowly sauntering down the street cars honked, it was getting dark. I saw young children in the cars with their parents going home to a nice warm house. Where there were no worries. Where they didnt have to worry about dating yet. Or heart break or the opposite sex. I should have stopped thinking about it but thats all that I could think about. Hadnt eaten at all. Didnt sleep. Walked, rode and cried. Until I decided I needed to get home. Now I sit here typing away wondering now, whats next to come. Time to move forward. But I cant move forward until this pain goes away. And that takes time. Knowing a man never liked you and really liked someone else is hard. Especially if the connection on the other half was only admirance. But nothing good can come out of this. Its just a lesson to learn. Just think about the future. And try to catch it. It was just one big lie. It was just an act. He got what he wanted. Now he can be on his way to victory. Until I slowly make my way up and overpower any hard feelings of pain and hurt. Until.....But when is until. There is no until. He can Just leave me here. You dont have to care. But Im sure I do. Enough. Just until. I cant sleep anymore. Its sad how one person can kill.Until this pain goes away. when your throat starts to clench& tingle & your heart gets so warmthe heat travels through your body,when your stomach starts to feelthose unforgiving butterflies thatspark the instant flow of tears. that'sthe worst pain you'll ever feel. thatis your heart breaking....<>

Kevin Magoon the Goon

The "Goon" is a pathological liar, tall, idiotic, sucky horrible person. Would love to say more about this man. Man? Shit sorry. ANIMAL. But dont know where to begin. I wrote a previous blog on him to when I thought he was playing me. And lying. But sure enough you guys he was. If you ever run into him or see him....Do what you have to do. So basically he was married/engaged when I was dating him. He thought it was too hard to tell the girl(s) that he was married/engaged during his sexual encounters with them. There is probably more then one girl.... Maybe his wife doesnt care...But I care. And Im sure if there were other woman...They would to. Yeah I called her and told her as best I could but I believe Goon lied and said nothing ever happened with anyone named Rachel. And if he did admit it she is probably trying to forgive and forget. Or doesnt even know. But maybe its not bothering her. But its bothering me. I remember asking him when I suspected something that he needed to tell me now if he had another girl in his life and I would back off. He said dont beleive everything you see on Myspace. Look closely were not even wearing wedding rings. And its a story line for wrestling and If I come June 3rd it will prsent the storyline. Um yeah I didnt see a storyline. So yeah good job Kevin. Didnt think I was going to show up did yah. Well MF I did. Great story you had going. I fell for it. SO you got me into bed well your car for the last time this year. Im glad it got totaled. Luck for me not for you. Memories are gone with your car to. Hope you feel good about yourself. But you were so scared you called the police and told them to have me stop contacting you. Well Goon I didnt contact you. I contacted your wife. And Im sure she doesnt beleive me. And Im sure she probably wont and if she does she wont admit it. You guys will probably end up divorcing and it would be kind of um expected. Especialy with a cheating man. Maybe not cheating but lying. If we could have solved the issue like man and woman then this wouldnt have happened. But Kevin couldnt say he was married and engaged. He could only say I want to sneak in through your window bang you in your bed, leave, dont talk to you for a month, bang you again until I move to Lamar and wait until you call my mother for her to tell you Im engaged. CONGRATULATIONS KEVIN Matthew MAGOON. You got what you wanted now. Wasnt cool, wasnt fair and was so dumb of you. But keep it up buddy. Keep it up. The girls love it.We met off of Just Say hi.com/mingle2. He wrote me first. Probably some set up or something. I had decency to say yes. Things were going just fine. We went to AppleBees near the 225 exit and ate spoke about his career and fun stuff like that. But maybe he got the wrong impression on me when he looked through my phone and saw the bad pictures and videos. I dont know. Maybe right then and there he made up his mind that Im easy. Im a virgin probably desperate will probably go for it. I made the mistake and agreed to have sex with him. I remember my brother and a friend Cathryn said that he would only try and use me. But I snuck him in anyways....My brother was aware of it and we did our thing. He spoke to me after so I guess it was ok. I really liked him. But then there were times he was onlie and did not speak to me. Times when I wrote him and got short replies or no replies at all. I grew suspicious and things just got wierd. I feel so much hate. I asked if there was a woman in his life and he said no. No....Then we banged in his car and it was over. There was no kiss goodnight. ON i will talk to you later. Whose fault is it though. His for not telling me even though I was responsible to ask him or stupid enough to believe him. Or was I not easy to get rid of.... If only I was simply told everything would have been alright and I would not have to feel this way. Here is what he said after I contacted his wife."hey look you called down here in lamar now since you did that you legally have to tell me how you got the number and stop lying, cuz well you arent helping yourself any, and stop calling"Thats the most he has ever said in any way or form. So I didnt reply so here is what he said in the Yahoo Instant message.the_king_of_kings_36 (9:57:24 PM): tell me how you got the number here misspharry1017 (9:57:30 PM): Whythe_king_of_kings_36 (9:57:38 PM): cuz ur legally required too misspharry1017 (9:57:42 PM): From who?misspharry1017 (9:57:50 PM): my dad is a police officermisspharry1017 (9:57:55 PM): And thats not truethe_king_of_kings_36 (9:58:03 PM): my dads a lawyerthe_king_of_kings_36 (9:58:07 PM): so u bettter tell memisspharry1017 (9:58:09 PM): Yeah I kno9w rthatmisspharry1017 (9:58:14 PM): So your threateing me nowmisspharry1017 (9:58:15 PM): Okthe_king_of_kings_36 (9:58:20 PM): im not threatening youmisspharry1017 (9:58:35 PM): You should havce told me you were marriedthe_king_of_kings_36 (9:58:35 PM): you said ur dads a cop i said mines a lawyermisspharry1017 (9:58:44 PM): And engagedmisspharry1017 (9:58:50 PM): your mom said on teh phonemisspharry1017 (9:58:55 PM): So thats pretty messed upthe_king_of_kings_36 (9:59:01 PM): tell me how you got the numbermisspharry1017 (9:59:08 PM): Tell me why you liedthe_king_of_kings_36 (9:59:18 PM): you tell me how you got the numbermisspharry1017 (9:59:28 PM): You tell me why you lieedmisspharry1017 (9:59:30 PM): Kevin damntmisspharry1017 (9:59:33 PM): We had sexmisspharry1017 (9:59:37 PM): AND YOU WERE MARRIEDmisspharry1017 (9:59:39 PM): WTGthe_king_of_kings_36 (10:00:05 PM): ok? sure now well fine dont tell me how you did dont call dont text dont email dont nuthing got thatmisspharry1017 (10:00:13 PM): Yeah suremisspharry1017 (10:00:24 PM): I will callmisspharry1017 (10:00:26 PM): I will textmisspharry1017 (10:00:33 PM): Your afraid she is going to find outmisspharry1017 (10:00:46 PM): And I WILL make sure this doesnt happen againmisspharry1017 (10:00:48 PM): to ANYONEThe last thing he said he clicked out fast and probably called the cops right then and there. Lol. I wish I had the message when he said I was full of childish highschool bullshit and "boo hoo" Kevins not talking to me. He musnt like me "Boo Hoo". Thats what pissed me off the most when he said that. But hey he never spoke and basically the above IM is like the most down to earth conversation we have ever had.I will keep adding to this blog until I feel a little better....